For anyone who comes across this, I think I found the answer to the persistent notification, which is what Erel said above.
Up till now I had used AppUpdating.b4xlib as is. But having discovered its just an archive file that can be opened with 7Zip, I found it contained newinst2.bas, which is a service called after the install, whose purpose appears to be simply to reopen the app after the install. And this service does not have the now required Service.StopAutomaticForeground at the end of Service_Start.
Having solved that problem, it appears the service can't restart/reshow the app anyway, due to androids change that says 'StartActivity from a service will not work if there is no visible activity.' - see
https://www.b4x.com/android/forum/threads/solved-appupdating-ver-2-05.144335/#content for more details on how this affects AppUpdating. BTW in that post Harris pointed out that refs to "main" need to change to Main. You can do this StartActivity(Main) still a no go.
Rather than muck around with 'draw over' permission, I'm ok with letting the user simply restart the app manually after. So I removed that service from the .b4xlib altogether, along with the ref to it in the manifest & cl_appupdate.bas.
And a big thanks to UDG for creating AppUpdating in the first place. A few tweaks are much easier than starting from scratch.