Depending on what B4J version or the way it was implemented, your custom view may or may not have Visual Designer support.
In the first case, you need to add it by code, but if it has designer support, then it will show in the designer views list Under customview.
The fact that you say it's grayed out, to me it says it has been used (in the custom view demo maybe), but has not been Added to the current project.
Make sure you have selected the CustomView in your libs tab.