Phonetic Alphabet (or more accurately: Phonotic)

[emexes]

When talking users through typing arcane commands over telephone, we'd often use a slightly modified phonetic alphabet, eg:

P for phonetic (or psycho, depending on the user's current state of humour)
A for aisle
C for czar (also cent)
E for Europe (also E for Ewe *, E for Eye *)
G for gnome
H for hour
J for Juan (our Chilean workmate - true)
K for knight
L for fifty #
M for mnemonic
O for one
T for tsunami (after 2004 we changed to tsar)
V for five #
W for why *
X for ten #
Y for you *

* = letters that sound like other letters
# = roman numerals

and sometimes we'd use these, even though they didn't quite "flow" right:

I for one #
C for hundred # is really C eg century
M for thousand # is really M eg millennium (still useful because most of our users had never heard of the word "mnemonic")
N for negate (or N for negation)

The things programmers do to make their work more entertaining. ?

 

[emexes]

Also compound roman numerals eg:

"type the word pixie, as in p for phonetic, i for ingrid, xi for eleven, e for eye"

edit: "ixi for ten" would work too, although users on a support call are usually too frazzled to think this hard

 

[agraham]

Why not use NATO phonetics? This just seems utterly confusing to me.

 

[Sandman]

Why not use NATO phonetics? This just seems utterly confusing to me.

I think that's the point, it's meant to be insanely useless and confusing. A joke, if you will.

 

[agraham]

Are you saying that this is a joke? I'm borderline high functioning autistic and some of these things go right over my head unless someone explains it to me

 

[Sandman]

Are you saying that this is a joke?

Yes, I am.

I'm borderline high functioning autistic and some of these things go right over my head unless someone explains it to me

Thank you for explaining. I will now explain the joke to you (and the large majority of the forum members who obviously also don't get it).

The purpose of the NATO phonetic alphabet (and variants of it) is to have a rock-solid way of communicating letters without confusion.

The joke with the alphabet produced by emexes is that each and every word chosen sounds as one thing, but is spelled with another letter. It is thus insanely useless and almost guaranteed to cause issues and confusion.

A couple of examples:

P - psycho (the P is silent, and you would thus say "syko")
G - gnome (the G is silent and you would thus say "nome")
H - hour (the H is silent, and you would thus say "our")
O - one (which sounds like you're saying the actual number 1)
W - why (which sounds like the actual letter Y)
U - you (which sounds like the actual letter U)

and on it goes, every single word is insane and confusing. And that's the joke.

 

[emexes]

Are you saying that this is a joke? I'm borderline high functioning autistic and some of these things go right over my head unless someone explains it to me

Sorry.

Although listing P for Phonetic first did seem like a bit of a giveaway.

Maybe different people "hear" differently when reading silently.

 

[agraham]

Maybe different people "hear" differently when reading silently.

I don't 'hear' the words when I am reading, I 'see' them as patterns which makes me a very fast reader - I could knock off a paperback in an hour and a half, but it makes me prone to 'recognizing' the words wrongly if they don't seem to fit the context of what I am reading. I have to read, say crossword clues. entirely differently (carefully) to the way I would skim a newspaper article.

 

[Jeffrey Cameron]

Yes, I am.


Thank you for explaining. I will now explain the joke to you (and the large majority of the forum members who obviously also don't get it).

The purpose of the NATO phonetic alphabet (and variants of it) is to have a rock-solid way of communicating letters without confusion.

The joke with the alphabet produced by emexes is that each and every word chosen sounds as one thing, but is spelled with another letter. It is thus insanely useless and almost guaranteed to cause issues and confusion.

A couple of examples:

P - psycho (the P is silent, and you would thus say "syko")
G - gnome (the G is silent and you would thus say "nome")
H - hour (the H is silent, and you would thus say "our")
O - one (which sounds like you're saying the actual number 1)
W - why (which sounds like the actual letter Y)
U - you (which sounds like the actual letter U)

and on it goes, every single word is insane and confusing. And that's the joke.

One of our software platforms has a six digit activation code that is all upper-case letters and over the years I've heard it all. You'll get the ex-military people who rattle it off so quickly you have to ask them to repeat it, "Able-Kilo-Hotel..." Then you'll get the kind old lady, dead serious, go, "K as in "cat"" or the millennial employee who uses text-speak for the letter designations, "U as in "you.""

I don't think adopting @emexes alphabet would make a difference

 

[emexes]

all upper-case letters

Well, that's half the problem solved ? now you're just down to A-R, C-G, D-O-Q, H-M and U-V misreadings (depending on the clarity of the font).

I don't think adopting @emexes alphabet would make a difference

The Phonotic Alphabet was more about adding levity to outgoing communication. As you've noted, all bets are off regarding what comes back. ?

Trying to get users to adhere to any standard at all, let alone one that requires paying attention, would be akin to herding kats.

 

[emexes]

You'll get the ex-military people who rattle it off so quickly you have to ask them to repeat it, "Able-Kilo-Hotel..."

Speaking of herding kats: even your ex-military people seem to be mixing up their standards. ?

 

[LucaMs]

 

[emexes]

Ok, ok, I can see now that the Phonotic Alphabet is going down like a lead balloon. ?

So instead, with thanks for background inspiration from @Sandman, I present for you:

The Phornetic Alphabet

A for arm
B for bidding
C for cast
D for deck
E for ever
F for front
G for give and for get
H for head
I for in exchange
J for judge
K for king
L for lock
M for mica M for mat
N for negation
O for ordination
P for play
Q for quarter
R for runner
S for skin
T for thought
U for um
W for ward
X
Y
Z

I haven't yet managed to come up with fitting elucidations for X, Y and Z = if you have any suggestions then I am all ears 'ere for you. ?

 

[emexes]

The Phornetic Alphabet

I should probably copyright that ? and ditto Pornetic Alphabet too re eg K for king & P for play ?

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/spellcheck/english?q=phornetic

?

 

[rabbitBUSH]

U for um
W for ward
X
Y
Z

I guess Australia doesn't have - -
V for Vegan
In its alphabet
?

 

[emexes]

V for Vegan

Yeah, I was a bit surprised at the time about how easy it was to compose the alphabet that far. Now I know why.

 

[emexes]

V for Vegan

V fore vermore ?

 

[agraham]

I totally don't get this thread, but what is 'vermore'?

EDIT: I said above that I read by pattern recognitoin so I totally missed seeing 'for(e vermore)'.

 

[emexes]

V fore vermore ?

I totally don't get this thread, but what is 'vermore'?

A character from World of Warcraft. Yeah, I wasn't too happy about the tenuousness of it either, hence the

Although now your " 'vermore' " has got me thinking about using an apostrophe to indicate a missing "e" ie:

V for 'vermore

I'm not quite sure if that represents forward or backward movement of tenuousity. ?

N for negation is still my secret favourite. Although I've just discovered that the word fornication doesn't actually appear to be used in the Ten Commandments; I must have been thinking of adultery.

 

[rabbitBUSH]

about using an apostrophe

AHHHH so how would one pronounce that phoneme?

in the phonetic markup symbology the apostophe represents :

ˈ	(stress mark)

roughly the place one ends up when spelling using this punny methodology
'''''''''''''''''''''T (for thought)